Good Grief

Trigger-warning: theme of loss.

Grief became my good friend as soon as I realised that she was with me. I had studied 'Grief & Loss' in counselling as an adjunct many years ago, but following it, I lost someone very close and did not know myself - for years. The theory is fine but she's a very different beast to living it: dissociation (Kübler-Ross' denial perhaps) can be absolute. Everything moved on but I hadn't yet awoken to her presence. Somehow, I had managed to disembody myself from my Self. Sometimes, it can be difficult to witness what goes on within ourselves, especially nowadays with so much violence in our world.

So how do we consciously re-attune to what is clear and soulful? I need this and must actively engage in it on a regular basis. It brings life and colour where it had seemed absent. When I painted this watercolour, once again, I didn't know that she was back. I had no idea! Suddenly, I saw it and knew the cause, not even anything very momentous this time: dashed hopes in love as the spell was broken; but I knew her name and being in touch with this is vital.

(For a personal copies of this artwork, please click the picture.)